The Five Languages of Love You Need to Know NOW.

After a short, pleasant flight from Atlanta to Miami I indulged in a book I got from a good friend of mines called "The Five Love Languages" by best selling marriage counselor Gary Chapman. Although it was an interesting read, I dont necessarily recommend it because it was written for married couples. However the information is useful even in dating situations, and in this post I will have basically concluded all the info you need to know without all the stories in the book.

 5 Love Languages :

1. Words of Affirmation- Someone who's love language is "Word of Affirmation" thrives on positive words of encouragement, compliments, kind words, etc. They feel the most loved when their significant other says things like "you look so beautiful/handsome", "Im so lucky to have you", "I really appreciate you"or "You are a genius at what you do". This makes them feel the most secure in their relationships. The words can be verbal or written, both is even better. This person is more inclined to go above and beyond for you when they feel you appreciate them, value them and express outwardly your love for them.
 

*Tips for if you are dealing with someone whose love language is "Words of Affirmation"

• Make sure you regularly tell them the things you like/admire/love about them
• Write them a love letter
• Compliment them when it's called for
• Write down some of their strengths and remind them of it, especially if they are down

2. Quality Time- Someone who's love language is "Quality Time" values, you guessed it, quality time the most. For this person, it doesnt matter if you are the wealthiest person on earth and pay all the bills and makes sure all needs and wants are met, if the quality time is not there, the person is not fulfilled in the relationship. This person values a one on one connection and experiences more than frivolous "things". They thrive from feeling as though they are seen and heard from their partner. They are more inclined to go above and beyond when they feel they are a priority to you.

*Tips for if you are dealing with someone whose love language is "Quality Time"

• Make time daily to share the events of each others day
• Plan together time or weekend getaways
• Take a walk together, and really listen and respond
• Think of an activity he/she enjoys that you may not know anything about and be open to really learning more about it

3.Receiving Gifts- Someone who's love language is "Receiving Gifts" loves to the sentimental value behind their partner being thoughtful enough to give them gifts. This person expresses their love through gift giving and loves to give meaningful items. The gifts are not necessarily always big, bold or flashy. They can be as simple as buying a book of useful bible scriptures for someone they know are going through a rough period in life. This person believes in gifts from the heart and feel loved when they feel their partner knows enough, and cares enough about them to do something as sweet a gesture as buying a gift for no other reasons than pure appreciation.

*Tips for if you are dealing with someone whose love language is "Receiving Gifts"

• Give him/her a gift everyday for one week just because.
• Buy your partner a book and plan to read it together and discuss
• Give a living gift: a pet, a plant...a baby (j/k)
• Give your lover something handmade that has sentimental value

4. Acts of Service- A person who's love language is "Acts of Service" really appreciates when their partner does "things" that makes life smoother. For instance, if you value someone who cooks, cleans, takes care of the bills, keep up with car maintenance, etc, moreso than anything else, you probably speak the language of "Acts of Service". This person appreciates a person that makes their lives easier in some ways by doing things that they necessarily dont want to do or cant do. For example, a man who appreciates a woman who is a real home maker; ie she enjoys to cook a five course meal daily, takes care of the kids, schedule all appointments and keeps the house clean...he is someone who values acts of service. In return, that same woman might value the fact that the man is working to pay all the bills, keep a house and car, take her on vacations and cover most expenses...she also values his acts of service. This is both of them creating a simpler life for the other in different ways.

*Tips for if you are dealing with someone whose love language is "Acts of Service"

• Do a major act of service (wash a car, cook a meal, clean a room) for your partner and leave a note saying: To (insert name) with love. Then sign your name
• If you are financially able, hire someone to take on a task that your lover might usually do
• Write a thank you letter acknowledging all the services he/she provides that you are grateful for

5.Touch- A person who speaks the language of "Touch" thrives off of physical closeness. This language is not solely based on the desire to have sex. This person feels loved when their partner wants to hold hands in public, hug them when they are sad or kisses them on the way out the door to work. Physical connectiction is the way they show their love and dont do well with people who are distant/ no affectionate.

*Tips for if you are dealing with someone whose love language is "Touch"

1. Hold their hands in public
2. Designate a certain "kiss time" or "kiss spot". For instance, make it a fun game to always kiss while waiting at a red light.
3. Give your partner massages regularly
4. Play footsie while you two go out to eat

I found this book to be interesting because sometimes you lose connections with people because you two seem to be on a different page,but in reality you just dont know or are not speaking their language.

I know my love language is definitely Quality Time, with Words of Affirmation a close second. What are yours? Comment Below.