It's funny. I was laughing the other day at how some people reminisce on a life wayyyy grander than it actually was. The stories are so elaborate, detailed and epic and mostly NOT true. This is of course about the people who I know for sure weren't living the life they seem to have remembered. But these colorful story tellers led to me to a thought that I think pertains to reminiscing on certain loves from our pasts. To put it clearly: It wasnt all roses.
I can think of someone who, when Im feeling really lonely I look back on and miss. I miss his personality, his touch, his friends, his smile, and when Im feeling lonely, the list goes on and on. BUT when I reallllly think about him without the googly eyes, I realize that what Im missing wasnt there the majority of the time. In reality he was a detached, emotionally unavailable jerk. Someone who I would now not waste time on, simply because I know now that it would be a dead end relationship, and I deserve better.
So in reality, yes I do miss him in a sense because he was a friend. BUT more than him, I miss the ideal version of him in my head. The him that I wanted him to be, not the real him. I miss all the good times that coulda, woulda, but didnt happen because in reality it just wasnt that good.
So now, when Im looking back at what was and what wasnt, I try to take it all in truthfully. It wasnt all good, he wasnt all good, and neither was I. I cant create new memories now. I can learn from the past though, which is what I intend on doing.
Anyone else reminiscing on what wasnt? leave a comment.
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