50 Shades of Grey...This is What the Hype was About?

Im not one to hop on trends or be into "the latest" whatever, so I never felt the urge to get a copy of  I  the New York Times Best Seller book 50 Shades of Grey. Curiosity has finally gotten the best of me last week, and I read  it and I  just had to write about it. This is for you all who have read it or those curious, as I was. This book has been out for a while and is a trilogy, so yes, Im extremely late.

Before I start the review, I wont leave you guessing on my unpopular opinion, I did not love the book, I barely liked it actually, and here is why:

50 Shades of Grey Review

50 Shades is essentially a book about a virginal character Ana who meets and falls instantly for an extremely rich, extremely handsome Christian Grey. He is intimidating and controlling...and into the alternative lifestyle of BDSM (Bondage& Discipline,Sadism & Masochism ) . The very innocent Ana goes on to lose her virginity to him and participate into the lifestyle rather quickly but falls in love. Christian Grey does not do love, but somehow he finds himself letting her slide in situations that he's never let anyone else slide in. He himself catches feeling for her, although he's warned her from day one that he is not the type of man she should be with. Of course she doesnt listen to that warning and tries to change him into a loving man, although he's self admittedly "50 shades of fucked up". She changes for sure, him not so much. She realizes that he just may not have the capacity to love and that is heartbreaking. The end.

 

There, you dont have to read it. lol.j/k

 

Although I did not care for this book at all, I think it had potential to be something great. The problem to me was that the writing was annoying, the scenarios were repetitive,the situations were incredibly unbelievable  and Im not sure if there was or wasnt a clear plot.

 

For instance, what 21 year old college graduate who wants to pursue publishing, doesnt own a laptop or even an email address in 2011? She is naive beyond measure and I just cant get with it. Okay, a virgin character may be inexperienced, but Ana was damn near the Virgin Mary in the beginning. Also, her awkardness and inner voices were annoying, "my inner goddess" this and my "subconscious" that. Really? When I was reading, I couldnt picture any grown adult with these thoughts, the main character Ana read like a teenager...and not a very bright one. That disturbed me.

 

I digress, this book was extremely annoying in the sense that every page was guaranteed to incoporate the following: the words "holy crap", "holy cow", "holy shit"...really ? , inner goddess doing back flips, subconscious hiding behind a couch or calling her a hoe, Ana biting her lip, someone rolling their eyes, how gray Grey's eyes are and how extremely handsome he is. I think the author could have been more creative, Im not kidding when I say each page has at least one of those things on it. I dont know about anybody else, but reading "holy cow" on every page got soooo annoying.

 

The sex scenes to me were the most unrealistic. Not to be cynical here, but she orgasms EVERYTIME like within a minute, and even on command. Even her first time. Maybe Im jealous, but what the hell? She "shatters to pieces" (orgasms) just by a slight touch by him. And also, I cant see an innocent virgin go from zero to total BDSM goddess in such a short time period either,but I dont know. The scenes were basically all the same, and to use a term from the book, VERY vanilla. There was no variety, and her awkwardness and inner thoughts clouded what may have been juicy scenes. Christian, in all his filthy richness and handsomeness was border line abusive, definintely a stalker and overly controlling man. I hope women out there realize that that is NOT a catch.

 

Lastly, Im not sure what the plot was in this book. I would try to brainstorm but I still cant figure it out.

 

THE GOOD:

While I didnt love the book, I didnt hate it. I enjoyed the Christian character (since he was kind of the only one with substance) and would've liked to know more about his past.

 

I also like that this book has people reading it, even if that means reading a sub par, less than erotica fantasy book. AND not only are people reading it, they are spicing up their love lives...and I aint mad at that...

 

Mainly I like that as a writer, it gives me hope. If this book can be a bestseller than I know I have one in me.

 

Overall, some may think this is a little critical, and it may be. I write, so I may pay attention to things that others dont. I think this book wasnt smart enough, and I think it had potential to be but something went wrong. Hopefully the script writers for the film do a better  job at developing the characters and plots.

 

 

Have you read it? What did you think? Ready for the film?

 

 

 



How To Create The Perfect Online Dating Profile

While watching Steve Harvey (dont judge me, I draw inspiration from anywhere) there was a segment on the do's and dont's in regards to what and what not to post online in your online dating profile. I'm going to list the tips below from the expert on Steve's show.

I am seriously considering creating an online dating profile, of course after I research which site would be the best for me and what Im looking for. Be on the lookout for posts on that experience, as I've never done the online thing before...post a comment below if you want to share your online dating stories/ tips/ recommendations.

Elements For The Perfect Online Profile:

1. PICTURE- Your picture is your main marketing tool and you are the product. Keep in mind your target audience when choosing your picture. If you show too much cleavage or partying pictures, then what kind of man do you think is going to hit you up? Choose a close up face shot and a full body shot. Make sure you are smiling in your pictures and are dressed casual fab!

2. CONTENT- It's important in your profile to stay positive. Write about all the things that you are good at and that you like. Also, instead of writing what you are NOT looking for, write what you are looking for. Too much negativity makes you seem like a Debbie Downer...no one wants a negative chick.

3. PRIVACY- Remember that you are online and your privacy is at risk here. You absolutely dont want to use your real name when signing up for these sites...which leads me to #4

4. SCREENNAME- Your screen name is important as it ultimately represents you just second to your profile pic. Keep body parts, sexual phrases or just distasteful words out of your name. Nobody wants Sexqueen69...well someone probably does, just not for a relationship. Choose a creative name that is interesting. This might take some time, jot down some possibles til you find the one that fits you.

5. PERSONALITY- Your profile should be you. No fronting, No bullsh*t, no more, no less than you. If you are looking for love online, and you want something real, be real yourself.


Have any more tips? Leave a comment below.

#message

What To Do When a Guy Gets Ghost on You

Casper the friendly ghost prick

This post was inspired by a Cosmopolitan article I read from the February 2012 issue. I am a former magazine hoarder who likes to go back and reread sporadically. Thats another issue though.

The article I was interested in was entitled: What to Do When a Guy Ghosts. Although the phrasing of the title is bad IMO (the phrase is to "get ghost"... or maybe thats just hood slang.lol), I wanted to know what the "experts" opinions were on what to do when a guy you're feeling disappears out of nowhere.

The advice given was that if he disappears suddenly after a few presumably good dates, then there may be some reasons why. He may be extremely busy at work, or he may be under the impression that you are not into him. They said  you should text him to see if he is busy or needs encouragement (not sure what that part means) and  if he doesnt respond enthusiastically within a 24 hour time period, then you should delete his info and keep it moving, finishing with this line: "Never put in more than you're getting in the beginning."

I usually dont agree with the advice I find in magazines, but for this one I do. I am not the only one who've talked to someone and was really starting to feel them and POOF, they disappeared. Whether  it was me, or them or whatever, they disappeared. The question after that was always where to go from there? Do you just delete everything and pretend they never existed? Do you speak if you see them out? Are you being too extreme by deleting without knowing the full story? Do you wait and keep them in your contacts "just in case" one day they realize your awesomeness? Those were always my questions.

Cosmo is absolutely right about never putting in more than you're getting in the beginning. If you are the one calling, setting dates, planning, texting first...then you may want to reeavaluate if this is the type of person you want in your life. Also, you have to consider that he just might not be that into you (I know the ego hates that though). Every relationship should be mutually beneficial in my opinion. So Im encouraging myself and other to let the Non Factors go. Delete.Delete.Delete.

If he wants to get Ghost, then good, he's just making room for someone who would love to stay around :)

Drop a comment below.

#thatawkwardsinglemoment

As a single gal, there are countless moments that are straight up awkward...so I decided to start randomly posting those oh so cringeworthy things. I know they dont just happen to me!

Today's Awkward moment:

That awkward moment when you STILL are following someone you stopped talking to...but dont want to be rude and unfollow... but dont want to see what they're tweeting/instagram'ing... but still do want to see it just to be nosy. #awkward

 

 

Have another #awkwardsinglemoment ? Leave a comment below!

 



Single During Cold Seasons? To Wax or Not to Wax?

Sorry about this graphic image.lol. Actually Im cracking up

 

 



This is a gross post. But I am willing to conquer even the most private, sometimes embarrassing aspects of being a single female. Soooooo here we go. It is Fall, the weather is cooling down, we are starting to put our clothes back on, no more cook outs or pool parties...sooooo...yeah this is awkward. Single ladies, are we or arent we, ummmm waxing/shaving/nairing  "down there" during the cold and lonely seasons?

I'll be the first to admit, that I do tend to be more lax on shaving my legs when it gets cold ESPECIALLY if Im not seeing anyone. I still do underarms though. As far as waxing, I enjoy the results BUT since only Im seeing it right now, I probably (most likely will) still get them but wait longer times in between.

It's so easy to be lazy when technically anything that's covered up and will not be seen basically doesnt exist to anyone but you. However, I think it just feels sexy and clean when you're bare down there. Like a sexy little secret, and the good thing is "just in case" something happens, you're prepared and not having to turn down a steamy moment just because of the jungle.lol. Of course, whatever floats your boat is the way to go!



So ladies, Do you do "The Bush"  or "Mr Miyagi" when it's cold and you dont have a boo thang?
 Be honest!!!

Yay or Nay: The Snuggie Sutra

In WTF let's write a book about anything news, there is a book out there entitled "The Snuggie Sutra." It's obviously a derived from the  popular sex guide Karma Sutra but only with Snuggies!  The idea makes me literally lol. Check out a few images from the book, so you can know all the ways to get down with a snuggie on. This is not a review, as I've not read it...just thought it was interesting. If anyone has read it, leave a comment below.lol


Here are a few graphics from the book:

Bet you wanna go out and get a snuggie huh? 

To end this post, this is probably a good gag gift to give or one to buy if you like little conversation piece books on your coffee table. It's good to have things around that are just for fun.

But seriously, are you gonna try one? I know I have my snuggie ready to go.lol (j/k)

Is Your E-Life Ruining Your Love Life?

Twitter. Facebook. Instagram. It's a rarity to meet someone who hasnt joined at least one of these social networking sites, as a lot of people are connected to all three. With the whole e-world connected at your fingertips, it's very very easy to overshare if you are not careful.

Is sharing your every thought, idea, action and picture necessarily good for budding relationship? I say no. I've been guilty of overshare, probably about when I first joined twitter. I literally tweeted all day about any and everything because I thought that was the purpose. That was years ago, and although Im not sure who I was dating at the moment, if they ever wanted to know ANYTHING about what I thought about them or anything, all they had to do was check my timeline. And THAT can kill a budding relationship.

The Five Languages of Love You Need to Know NOW.

After a short, pleasant flight from Atlanta to Miami I indulged in a book I got from a good friend of mines called "The Five Love Languages" by best selling marriage counselor Gary Chapman. Although it was an interesting read, I dont necessarily recommend it because it was written for married couples. However the information is useful even in dating situations, and in this post I will have basically concluded all the info you need to know without all the stories in the book.

 5 Love Languages :

Mr Right...Are You Him?

Almost every girl out there on this wild quest for love seem to be looking for one thing:Mr Right. Although we all have  our different versions of him, Mr Right is "the one" who complements us best.

For me, he is an attractive, funny, non conformist,spirtual, entrepreneur, witty, leader, honest, humble,successful, passionate,visionary,generous, responsible, good-with-money,motivated, opened minded, fun man (the ones in bold are non-negotiables). Whew, thats a lot...and definetly not all. But none the less, this is MY Mr Right basics. If you dont have a list of traits you want in your future man, I suggest you make a list, dont go all Chile from TLC on me though, be reasonable, this is just a guide to show you what you value as important in a man, not something to obsess over. I digress.

Got your list? Good. There's good news & there's bad news. The good news is this: HE EXCISTS!!!! That man is out there someone, he may not be perfectly packaged or you may not meet him the way you thought you would, and he will have the traits but will also have his fair share of flaws, BUT he is out there.

The bad news? Well lets take a look at that list you have of what you want in a man. Now, I want you to check off all the traits in HIM that you have in YOU. Chances are, you have a few or a lot of things unchecked like I did. Which means that we (me and everyone else with the unchecked traits) have some work to do...on ourselves.

I firmly believe it's unfair to ask of others things in which you dont possess yourself. So, I encourage everyone who made the lists, and honestly checked them off to look at all the traits or items you dont possess and work on those things until you feel you've mastered them.

I for one have entrepreneur as someone I'd like my Mr Right to be...yet Im not an entrepreneur. So what I will do now is focus on how I can be more business oriented even if I never start a business (which I do plan on), I'll have aquired enough knowledge about entrepreneurship to be an asset when I meet my Mr Right. Get it?

Who's bold enough to post their lists...as well as unchecked traits?

I'd love to hear your feedback, comment below! (and share this post while you're at it)