The Four Rules of Friends With Benefits

bow chica wow wow

According to Pyschology Today, these are the four rules one must apply upon entering a 'friends with benefits' relationship. Included are my thoughts and opinions.



Rule # 1: Don't mix your social circles.
Letting him or her hang out with or get too close to your friends borders on a relationship, so be careful about sharing too much of your life unless you're prepared to take the relationship to the next level. If you introduce your FWB partner to your friends, your friends can become attached, making things more difficult down the road if you simply want to keep things light. In addition, introducing him or her to your friends will invite the inevitable positive or negative comments your friends are bound to share about your new love - er, lust - interest.

-I agree with this. You dont want your friends too involved in a FWB relationship especially when it most likely ends, it's just awkward because your friends will too have to 'break up' with him.

Rule # 2: Don't share too much emotionally unless you want things to get more serious.
If you confide in him or her about life issues that are causing you stress, this increases the kind of intimacy you want to avoid if you don't want to get too emotionally attached. One of the things that makes FWB a tricky proposal is the fact that it's hard to avoid emotional intimacy when you're spending time with someone - particularly when you're engaging in sexual activity together. What's more, the real goal is to have both sex and emotional intimacy, so engaging in FWB relationships actually works against the goal you'll strive toward in a healthy, long-term relationship later in your life.

-Although this is tricky, I agree. Once you start opening up too much, feelings most likely are escalating for the guy. By then you probably are secretly hoping that the FWB relationship will evolve into a real one. BIG MISTAKE. Keep the convo light and casual and the sex as well.

Rule # 3: Be realistic about the future you have together.
The best way to be honest with yourself and realistic about what to expect is to have a conversation with him or her early on about the parameters of your FWB relationship. You might think that a FWB relationship is and always will be just about sex, but that's not always the truth. In fact, a real romantic relationship can develop from a FWB relationship. But for that to happen, you will need to relax and communicate openly about your needs and your feelings, and circumstances will require that the timing is right for the other person and that you are the kind of person he or she is looking for in terms of a long-term partner.

-Communication is IMPORTANT. Make sure you both know what it is and dont expect anything else other than what you've both agreed upon. The FWB relationship can develop into a real one but that just has to happen naturally if it does.

Rule # 4: Manage inevitable jealoousy when it arises.
No matter how cool or detached both of you try to be, odds are that jealousy will rear its ugly head. If you find yourself getting jealous, be honest and tell your FWB partner, and the two of you can talk about whether the FWB relationship is truly working for both of you. If he's the one who starts getting jealous, for example, and you also realize that you don't want to get involved more seriously with him, it's time to consider detaching and letting the benefits side of the relationship go.


-As awkward and ego killing as this may be, I agree although realistically I probably wouldnt tell the person i was jealous. I'd probably unfollow the guy from all social networks and see how it goes from there. lol


Overall, I agree with the Friends with benefits rules listed. I tend to think this relationship is the trickiest, most confusing and fastest way to set yourself up for a let down, but to each his own. If you can work it, then power to ya!


Hope this helps, as usual drop a comment.